I posted this on the Discord group, reposted here because it’s easier to find for reference.
The widely available Waveshare clone LAN modules can be used, but 2 modifications to the board need to be made. I’m a hardware person, so software mods are hard for me to do. 1) disable the onboard 50MHz oscillator - simplest way is to wire the oscillator enable pin to the NC header pin, then wire this pin to GND with a jumper wire. 2) Resolder the pullup resistor for Pin 10 (RXER) so that it pulls the pin down to GND (Sets device to address 0). Wire this module to your ESP32 module using the schematic for the Olimex ESP32-POE board as a guide. Configure Wled to use an Olimex ESP32-POE board (but supplying power in the usual way - the Waveshare boards do not have any PoE functionality) and it works.
Note - Take care with the clock signal, keep it as short as possible and route it paired with a parallel GND conductor for better signal integrity. Note that some ESP32 modules (containing PSRAM?) use GPIO17 internally which is incompatible with the use of this type of Ethernet adapter.